Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More Mace

He never did decide what to put in his first-ever shirt pocket.

What do little boys dream about? My guess: boobs.

Training camp starts Friday!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Friday, July 24, 2009

Attn. Birthers: screw you

I cannot recall in my political lifetime a phenomenon quite like the Birthers, a very small but very loud group of people who despite being provided with more evidence proving that President Obama was born in Hawaii than I can provide evidence I was born in Maryland, still hang on to their diluted fantasy that they can get rid of a President they don't like by insisting he wasn't born here. The whole thing smells of racism, and I have no idea why these people have so much hate in their hearts. In any case, the story won't go away because the right-wingers in the mainstream media keep bringing it up. Thankfully, we have Jon Stewart out there calling these people and their enablers out. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that he truly is my generations Walter Cronkite....

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The purple Lightsaber gambit or "How I managed to give George Lucas yet ANOTHER $20 bucks"...

My son will undoubtedly love Star Wars - not just because it is encoded into his DNA, but because he's a little boy and little boys love Star Wars. Specifically, Lightsabers. Sure, blasters are cool as is choking someone you don't like with your mind, but there's nothing quite like the subtle hum and brilliant glow of a lightsaber. An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age if you will. Little boys (and some bigger boys) will always want one of their own to play with, and until such time as someone actually figures out a way to completely violate the laws of physics and come up with a real life Lightsaber the toys are the closest thing we get to have.

Enter my quest to have a purple Lightsaber on hand for Macias when he's ready. Why purple? Well, I hadn't given it much thought for some reason, but it was recently made clear to me that he's going to want one. My boss's boss's son asked me if "Mace" was named after Mace Windu, the Jedi from Star Wars. I explained that he his name is Macias, but yes his nickname will be (already is I guess) Mace. He then joked that I was going to have to give him my purple Lightsaber, referring to my Force FX Mace Windu 'saber. It will be a few years (like, thirty) before he gets to use Daddy's Lightsabers, but I decided that I had better be ready with something when the time comes - as soon as he sees his (sort of) namesake on the big screen with his purple Lightsaber (it's the one that says BMF) he'll expect one of his own.

So a few weeks ago I finally spotted the toy Mace Windu purple Lightsaber in Target, and picked it up immediately. I did notice however, that it wasn't the same one from Episode 2 and 3 - it was his Lightsaber from Episode 1, which we never actually see him use and according to Wookiepedia is in fact blue. Now, this is the sort of thing that only a hardcore Star Wars nerd would be bothered by, so I decided that Macias wouldn't care about the hilt as long as the blade was purple and plunked down the dough. Then our friends Jeff and LeeAnn came over one night with their son Jake, who was memorized by the various Starship Enterprises strewn about the living room. Jeff would later tell me that he almost bought the Enterprise toy from the new movie, but Jake didn't want it because he knew it was different from the older Enterprise models that he played with at my house. In the back of my mind, I made a mental note that Macias might take similar notice of his Lightsaber since it wasn't the same as the Jedi Master's.

Naturally, George sensed my frustration and had his minions create a purple Mace Windu toy Lightsaber from Episode 2 and sent it to the Bluffton, SC Target to help me out. He is only charging me another $20 for the privilege. Honestly, if Macias is anything like his old man, not only would he notice that he didn't have the correct purple lightsaber, but might even be openly disappointed by that fact. Better not to risk it I he can have the real deal. Kinda.

And yes, I'm aware I'm quite insane. But he's worth it.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

An open letter to the junior Senator from South Carolina...

The following was e-mailed to Sen. DeMint through his website. I'm posting it here in case the jack-booted thugs come to my door you all will know who to blame...

Sen. DeMint:

I have never written to you before, even though I've been tempted to because of an incident several years ago in which your Mother falsely accused my Mother-In-Law of stealing from her office and made her spend a night in jail. As that was a personal issue that has since been settled I ultimately decided not to contact you. Your subsequent statements and actions through the years have irritated me greatly, but I usually take what you and the rest of the extreme-right have to say with grain of salt. So you can imagine that you must have really stepped in it this time if I feel compelled to contact you....

The Washington Post quotes you as having said on July 17th during a conference call with conservative activists, "If we're able to stop Obama on this, it will be his Waterloo" and "It will break him." If this quote is indeed accurate then may I ask...

What is wrong with you? People all across our state need access to quality, affordable health care. My Mother worked on Hilton Head for $10 an hour for nearly eight years as a receptionist. Her subsequent yearly thrity-cent-per-hour raises obviously couldn't keep up with rising health care premiums. As you can probably guess, that wage doesn't go very far on Hilton Head, especially not for a single woman, and she struggled mightily to stay afloat. Here was a person who did everything you Conservatives say she's supposed to do - worked hard, lived within her means, never looked for a hand-out - but couldn't afford to go to the Doctor when she got sick.

She is one of the people you were sent to represent the interests of to the federal government. No matter what policy difference you have with the President on the issue of health care, she and every other single Mom who has sacrificed everything for her children deserve much, much more from their United States Senator. May I suggest that instead of sitting in on conference calls with your friends and scoring cheap political points, you use your position to help come to a compromise with Senate Democrats that will help my Mother and the millions more around our country like her be able to live a long, healthy and happy life.

Morgan Bonner

PS - I see President Obama trying to help people like my Mother. I see you actively trying to stop him. That should give you an idea of who I'll be voting for when you are up for re-election next year.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Fatherhood - Day 27

So far I have to say my new favorite thing in the whole wide world is our late-night feeding time, where I give Macias his one bottle of the day while we try to let Mommy get four or five hours uninterrupted sleep. We speak of many things, he and I. Well mostly I speak and he just sort of makes this weezy/cooing noise every once in a while. So far I've imparted to him everything from my extensive knowledge of print media (as in, don't even think about it kid) and computers to my extremely limited knowledge of girls and math. While I certainly look forward to the day he can give me some feedback on these issues, it's always nice to have someone in your life who listens! Tonight's topics are scheduled to include (but are not limited to) President Obama's Russian visit, why Kenny G sucks but Chris Botti is awesome, and things to say to people who hate the Star Wars prequels. Looking forward to it!

Saturday, July 04, 2009