Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Basket-brawl

Ok, so as you may remember from a few posts back I joined my fellow Packet All-Stars in a 3-on-3 basketball rec league on Hilton Head. Since that first game we've managed to go 0-5, and tend to lose by an average of 78 points per game. Strangely enough, we seem to struggle against dudes who are all bigger/faster/stronger than us. Still, we play hard and have fun, and last week we only lost by 14 points. Or was it 24 points? Anyway, last night we played a team comprised solely of NBA lottery picks. Seriously - these dudes were insane. As much as we were impressed by their mad skillz, we were equally irritated by their showboating nature. I think it started when they were up 40-8 after the first 4 minutes. They were trying to dunk on us, ally-oops, no-look passes - you name it, they were doing it to us. I started to get a little honked-off - I mean, nobody that I know of likes to get shown up. Once they realized we weren't exactly in the same league as them, they should have turned down their game a few notches. Instead, not only did they keep up with their Harlem Globetrotters act, they also start to run their mouths, talking about how they wanted to score 200 points on us. With about 10 minutes to go in the game, things started to get ugly. First one of their players started to hassle Maureen - I didn't see what happened to start it, but I did see her throw the ball at the jackass and say "Don't call me baby". Apparently he said much worse to her, but we didn't hear it, which was fortunate for him. Then I got out there - now, I was already irritated beyond words about being blown out and shown up at the same time, and then to add injury to insult one of their other players hit me so hard while going for a rebound that he bent my glasses - while they were still on my freakin' face. Needless to say, I didn't appreciate that, so the next time I got the ball and he was all over me, I gave him a well-deserved elbow to the face as he was trying to steal the ball from me. After the next dead ball he came up to me and let me know he didn't like my elbow to his face. I took the opportunity to let him know I didn't like him hitting me as hard as he did, I didn't like him and his teammates running up the score on us, and I also may have made mention of his questionable parentage. So we were face to face, nose to nose, and before we could get each others address to exchange Christmas cards, our teammates separated us. I looked up into the stands and saw Allison with her head in her hands. I think she was afraid I was about to die. Anyway, I went out of the game at that point, and didn't see exactly what happened next: I saw the ball bounce off one of my teammates head, and then I saw him go after one of their players whom he thought threw the ball at him. At that point the benches emptied onto the floor and the crowd came out of the stands to break up the melee. No punches were actually exchanged (that I saw) but the one rec center dude ended the game with about 2 minutes left and told us all to leave.

Overall, I really didn't like the way the game played out, but I'm proud of my team for standing up for ourselves and not taking their crap. Much like what my beloved Nuggets went through last December (ok, not that much like), when a bully is pushing you around you simply have to push back. Fighting may not be the right thing to do, but the sad reality is that sometimes it's necessary. While we might not win any games in this league, we will at least be taken seriously - or someone will pay dearly....

Thursday, February 15, 2007

It's official: I know what I'm doing!

Allison and I have traveled to Greenville to see Mom and also so that I could take the Apple Certified Helpdesk Specialist exam. Getting an Apple certification has always been something I wanted to do, but whether it was because of time or money I hadn't done so yet. I finally decided to just commit to doing it, and so I began my research. I came across this certification that seemed right up my alley based on what I do all day long and after acing the sample test I decided to go for it.

I showed up to the Greenville Technical College and found the room where they administer the Prometric tests. I signed some papers, turned in my Blackberry and went to work. The test was HARD. Like, INSANELY FREAKIN' HARD. Way harder than the sample test, which I guess they do on purpose. I was screwed by a lot of the questions that pertained to Windows - file and print sharing, and I only got half the questions about Active Directory right - which sucks because we have 15 Macs that connect to AD at work, so I thought I was ready for that. But they weren't just gonna give me my certification - I had to earn it. Thankfully I was able to get most of the questions right in the other sections (praise be to Chris and Randy, whom will both be proud that I nailed all the questions about the command line) and passed the test (albeit not by much).

Later in the day I went to CompUSA to ogle some new Macs, and had to seriously resist the urge to correct the CompUSA droid who was trying to answer someone's question about a Mac Pro ("This is a program called Parallels - is a Univeri....Universl.....well, Uni-something Binary....so with this you can run Windows on it!") with my new found official-expert status, but I would hate for someone to do that to me, and the guy bought the Mac Pro anyway so no harm done.

My certification will be mailed to me in the next three weeks. It doesn't really change anything, other than it means that as far as Steve is concerned I am now officially tha most rad IT professional EVAR!! Sweet!

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Monday, February 12, 2007

Just another night at the Bonner's...

Morgan walks into the living room....

Allison: "I'm watching something very educational..."

Morgan: "What's it about?"

Allison: "Primordial Dwarfism."

Morgan: "Cool."

Saturday, February 03, 2007

OMG she's going to put a needle where??

My quest to find a cure for my neck problem continued today as I was talked into decided to visit an acupuncturist. Seeing as how western medicine has failed me completely, I figured it couldn't make things any worse. Allison and I arrived for my appointment at 2:30, and at 2:31 were immediately on edge as we were told to take off our shoes upon entering the woman's office. Now, here's my thing - I like wearing shoes. You know, outside my house. It's just the way I was brought up I guess. Plus it keeps my feet warm. Anyway, I believe I should be respectful of other people in their houses, so I do as I'm told, but am already irritated. The woman brings us into a room and starts the interview process about my neck - after about three questions I decided she was about as friendly as a Carcasian plague cat. Gruff, abrasive, and down-right accusatory - she seemed to be irritated with me that the things I had tried to fix my problem hadn't worked. She was fixated on her "pain scale" and kept asking me to rate the pain I was when I was sitting down vs. when I was standing up. Then we got down to business, and the fun really began.

She brings out her needles and I patiently wait for some sort of numbing agent to be applied. I received none. In fact, all I received was a needle. IN MY PINKY. Not on the bottom of my pinky mind you, where there is at least some manner of pain-threshold. No, she put the needle on top of my pinky, right below where the nail part (I have no idea what that's called) starts. MOTHER$@%# THAT HURT. But that was just the beginning. I counted at least 13 needles that went into my fingers and upper arms. She would put in the needle, and just for good measure twist it to make sure it was in there nice and tight. Besides the pinky, my other two favorites would have to be the one on top of my right thumb and the one directly in the palm of my left hand. What was really awesome was that after she was done she actually asked me if my neck felt any better. And was totally serious. I know that my Qi was supposed to be flowing, or releasing, or whateverthehell it's supposed to be doing when the skin in a completely unrelated area of my body is penetrated, but I guess I just wasn't having a good Qi day, because my neck felt quite the same as it did pre-needles-and-intense-pain.

Deciding that her first approach wasn't going to fix my neck, she went to plan B and asked me to take off my shirt and lay down face-first on the bed. At this point I was about to kill staring at Allison waiting for her to end this total charade, but didn't get the green light so off went the shirt. About that time she stopped talking for a second and just sort of looked at me. I mean, I know I'm hot and all, but she seemed to be focused on something. She asked me if I knew that I have a very exaggerated curve of my spine. Oddly enough, I don't spend much time looking at my back, so I said "uhh....no". So she started going on and on about being convinced that my neck pain was coming from my messed-up back. It was actually a plausible theory, and it dawned on me that during all the visits to the various Doctors and Physical Therapists I'd been to in this last year not a single one of them had ever actually looked at my back. She then proceeded to put needles in my back, which freakin' hurt, but not nearly as much as the one in my pinky. After we were done she told us that she didn't think accupunture was the way to go in my case, and recommended a Chiropractor in Beaufort that she said didn't "crack" his patients. I thought to myself "terrific....another Chiropractor". Anyway, I don't know what I'll do next, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's not going to involve needles, shooting pain and a bitchy-yet-surprisingly-compotent acupuncturist.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

My good deed for the year

Today I was 3rd in line at the Bank of America ATM to deposit some checks - everything was going smoothly, and I had the rare pleasure of seeing not one but both people ahead of me seem to have no problem operating the machine. The guy in front of me left, and I was all ready to do my thing....until I got up to the ATM and the screen read "Would you like another transaction?"

Having seen this screen myself numerous times, I knew it meant that the dude ahead of me had left his card in the ATM. Without thinking, I hit the "NO" button, ejected his card and put in mine. I did my thing, parked the car, and went inside to give the BoA droid the dude's card. It was only after walking out the door did it dawn on me that I could have very easily hit "YES" and helped myself to some of his money. It also then dawned on me that had I done so my face would have undoubtedly been plastered on "WANTED" posters all over Bluffton thanks to the ATM camera and transaction logs, so it was probably a good idea that I didn't do that. But more than anything, I was proud of myself that it took me a good 3 minutes to realize that I could have done something nefarious. I guess my Momma done raised me right - thanks Mom!