Despite being a video game aficionado, I've never really gotten into the whole online gaming thing. There are two reasons for this - one, online gaming on the computer has mostly been a pee-cee thing, with Macs never really being invited to the party. Second, the XBOX Live service makes you pay $50 a year to play online, so being the cheap bastard that I am, that's not an option. I recently broke down and bought a PlayStation 3 however, and since they don't charge anything to play online, I gave it a shot playing "Resistance: Fall of Man" against the rest of the world.
You're supposed to be matched up with players of a similar skill level, but that's a bunch of crap because I was being killed before I even fired my first shot. These online boys are ruthless - no mercy for the newbie in the group. I finally found my rhythm and got a few kills, and then the fun began.....
It doesn't take long to develop an active dislike for someone in these death matches - no one likes to be fragged with hedgehog grenades, but some of these dudes were pulling some cheap crap with me - hiding behind trees, sniping me from 100 yards away - stuff like that. There were three in particular that were giving me a hard time - "DaPickleGuy", "YOUREXWIFE" and "breakingmyballs33" (my gamer tag is "morganbonner". Unique, I know). I swear I couldn't lay a hand on these three - they seemed to be everywhere at once, killing me before I even saw them. After about 4 or 5 kills each at their hands, I finally got fed up and headed into a building that I'd seen a rocket launcher laying around in. I picked it up and waited....and waited....and waited.....until finally they all three had gathered in the same area. I ventured out of the building, offering myself up as a lamb to the slaughter....then just at the last possible moment I switched to the rocket launcher and BAM!!! Got all three of them at once! It was a thing of beauty - you might even call it UBER PWNAGE!!!!
I still came in last place in the match, and didn't have anywhere near as many kills as the others.....but I think I served notice that if you mess with morganbonner you will get a rocket up your butt for your trouble.