Sunday, July 30, 2006

This is South Carolina??!!

Just got back from Greenville where we went with Mom to help her explore the place and look for a place to live. It was my second trip up there - this time we ventured a little farther downtown and went to Falls Park. I have to say it was prolly the most scenic location I've ever been to in South Carolina (barely edging out the parking lot of the Squat & Gobble). I didn't go swimming like some of the people, nor did I slide down the rocks like this dude (who judging from the way he bounced when he went down must have had one seriously sore butt when he got home), but I did venture out in the middle of the rocks and water. I got a little far out, then realized I'd have to traverse some fairly slippery rocks to get back. Came to one rock in particular and had to work up the nerve to jump on it. There is something about taking your life in your own hands and living dangerously that is.....COMPLETELY STUPID!!! I was an idiot for going out that far, and if I were that kids Father there's no way he would ever have been anywhere near those rocks to slide down them. Ugh...playing games with life....I don't understand it. Anyway, it was a good trip - I ate way too much (they have a bakery there called Strossners that make a "Peanut Butter Volcano" - dark chocolate cake with a layer of PB inside....holy crap!), drank too much (just kidding) and got to know what will undoubtedly become my home-away-from home for the foreseeable future.

Sunday, July 23, 2006


You Are 16% Gross

You're not gross, but you tend to think everyone else is. And you're right... they are!
Some people may think you're a neat freak, but at least you'll never die of flesh eating bacteria.

Monday, July 17, 2006

I don't know my own strength

So I was hitting the heavy bag at the gym tonight, something I love doing as much for its great cardio workout as for its ability to absorb all my frustrations that I collect during the day. I was going at it particularly hard this time, and had a good rhythm going. I landed a really hard left jab, and watched in amazement as the bag flew right off the chain, hit against the back wall and fell at my feet. There is a mirror in front of the bag, and sure enough a quick glance confirmed that the entire gym was looking at me. I felt an odd sense of embarrassment mixed with complete and utter satisfaction. Anyway, I tried in vain to fix the chain that had broken loose from the stand but gave up after a few seconds because I realized that even if I had fixed the chain, I never would have been able to lift the 200-pound bag back to where it was hanging from. I guess I could have tried, but most likely I would have erased whatever reputation I had just earned. So I took my gloves off and walked over to tell the staff that I broke their heavy bag. The one guy looked pretty irritated with me, but what was he going to do? Surely he must have known that looking at me with anything other than total fear and respect would have cost him his life. My only regret is that the jackass that always flirts with Allison wasn't there to see it. I'm sure he'll hear about it though, and will be suitably scared shitless the next time he sees me.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Unlucky weekend

Ever have one of those weekends where nothing goes your way? This was one such weekend for yours truly. Saturday, after helping Mom out around the house (I helped chop down a tree that had died....felt very Lumberjackish) I met up with Allison, Brian and Deborah at Kenny B’s on Hilton Head for some jambalaya and hush puppies. While waiting I was contacted by the city editor at the Packet, who reported severe network problems. I figured I was going to have to skip the movie we were going to see and head back, but thankfully the problem turned out to be with Hargray in Beaufort. We then ventured to the Coldstone Creamery - they were out of Chocolate ice cream. Then at the movie, I ordered the combo where you get free refills of the popcorn and drinks. At least, I thought you got free refills on the drinks - I downed my first Mt. Dew in about 2 minutes, knowing I could go back for more. Sadly, when I did so I discovered that the refills were only on the large drinks, and that I owed $2.50. Sigh. Then on the way home I got the call from the Packet copy desk that Newsway (one of our main production systems) had gone down. I fixed that and went home, looking forward to getting a few breaks on Sunday.

I quickly found out that it wasn’t gonna happen. First I played like crap on the tennis court, allowing my arch-nemesisesses Brian and Allison to defeat me for the first time in a set and letting down my partner Deborah. Then, as I never did see the first “Clerks” we continued our quest to find the DVD, what with “Clerks 2" coming out next week. We had unsuccessfully tried to rent it from Blockbuster and buy it from Target. I decided that we should drive to Beaufort and go to the new Best Buy, figuring it would be there. It wasn’t. Nor was it at the Wal-Mart next door. So, not wanting to totally blow a trip to Beaufort and still smarting from not getting any chocolate ice cream the day before, we headed for the TCBY. On the way I got the call from the Packet that the OPI Server had crashed. While I called them back Allison ordered me a hot fudge brownie sundae. After letting the Packet know that I’d be back to the office in 30 minutes or so, I went back into TCBY to find out why Allison hasn’t gotten my ice cream yet. It turns out they couldn’t find the brownies.

I ended the night by being coerced by Allison to watch a movie called Frida because it stared Salma Hayek,, who I may or may not have a wee-bit of a crush on. However, for whatever reason the character she was playing had a unibrow, so Salma did also. Just completely freaked me out for the whole movie. About an hour into it I couldn’t take it anymore and Allison kindly turned off the movie (she had already seen the end).

All in all, it wasn’t a completely useless weekend - we got a really good deal on closeout kitty litter at Kroger.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

380 Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate

My personal favorites....

10. Move your roommate's personal effects around. Start subtly. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.

13. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."

27. Hide a bunch of potato chips and Ho Hos in the bottom of a trash can. When you get hungry, root around in the trash. Find the food, and eat it. If your roommate empties the trash before you get hungry, demand that s/he reimburse you.

44. Shelve all your books with the spines facing the wall. Complain loudly that you can never find the book that you want.

68. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door.

69. Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.

78. Take all of your roommate's furniture and build a fort. Guard the fort for an entire weekend.

92. If you know that s/he is in the room, come barging in out of breath. Ask if they saw a fat bald naked Tibetan man run through carrying a hundred dollar bill. Run back out swearing.

98. Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."

110. Become your own twin brother and tell your roommate that you and your brother never appear in the same place at once. Tell your roommate the same thing again after leaving and coming back into the room.

157. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.

183. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for your roommate to return. The next day, start standing in front of the window again.

184. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He [/She] just didn't belong."

201. Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted.

248. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the camel.

317. Arrange your pillows and blankets every night to make it look like you are asleep. Do this for three weeks. Buy a cantaloupe and a knife. Stick the knife in the cantaloupe. Lay it on the pillow where your head should be.

355. Make your bed 15 times a day. Sleep on the floor.

Complete list here...

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Geometry Wars update

Scored my personal best 2.27 million last night, making me the 3090th best player in the world! I'm moving up baby! Anyway, here's a video of some other dude scoring over 2 million. As you can see, this game is freakin' hard. It's also freakin' addictive - this is by far the longest I've ever played one video game. I just can't seem to stop trying to beat my own high score. Plus, playing it also provides a decent justifcation for buying a $400 game console that really doesn't have any must-have games on it yet. I'm sure at some point some other game will take my attention away from Geometry Wars, but for the moment I'm going to keep shooting for 3 million - wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Happy 230th America!

Well, it was quite an eventful July 4th - Allison and I ventured to Fort Pulaski, where we toured the grounds, had a picnic lunch, witnessed a live demonstration of a Civil War-era rifle being fired (loud!) and got a wee-bit of a tan. On the way home we had the strange experience of seeing car after car in front of us pull off to the side of the road and its occupants turn and look to the sky behind us. We finally figured out that everyone was watching the Space Shuttle streak through the sky. I was able to get a quick peek while stopped at a red light. Later on in the evening we walked over to Woodbridge as we have done each the last 3 years and watched as our neighbors had their own private fireworks show. We also got a first-hand reminder of why fireworks are illegal - one group of people who were setting off fireworks managed to shoot several of them directly into their own house. Thankfully, no one was hurt and no houses were burned down. Throw in the North Korean's launching missiles all over the place, and it was not a typical day in the life of Morgan. Tomorrow it's back to work - I'm sure it will be one exciting challenge after another, full of adventure!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Beat that boys....

You Are 88% Gentleman

No doubt about it, you are a total gentleman.
You please the pickiest ladies, and you make everyone in a room feel comfortable.