Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Caution: nerds at play

Yeah, so I bought a couple more Lightsabers. Got the Luke Skywalker 'saber from Return of the Jedi, and also the one used by Mace Windu. You know, the one that Samuel L. Jackson used (amazingly enough, it does in fact come engraved with "BMF" on it). Anyway, I thought this would round out my collection, but not two days after I ordered them I got the e-mail that Master Replicas would also be releasing the Darth Maul double-bladed lightsaber from Episode 1. This total and complete awesomeness can be mine for only $199. Yikes. Man this is starting to be one expensive fetish I've got going here. Now, I know what you're thinking - you're thinking "but Morgan - a true Jedi would build his own lightsaber, not buy one from a store". You are correct of course - I have already constructed the lightsaber itself using pieces of a drain pipe I bought at Home Depot, but I am having great difficultly finding the necessary crystal. And as we all know...

The crystal is the heart of the blade.
The heart is the crystal of the Jedi.
The Jedi is the crystal of the Force.
The Force is the blade of the heart.
All are intertwined
The crystal, The blade, The Jedi.
You are one.

- Speech made during lightsaber construction ceremony

So if anybody knows where I might be able to procure a primary focusing crystal (which just happens to let me violate the laws of physics over and over again) please contact me!!

Sunday, February 19, 2006

What a feeling

A strange dichotomy took place at the Bonner residence on Saturday night between the two television programs we watched, yet they at least sounded similar. For Valentines Day I gave Allison the Flashdance DVD (I gave her other stuff too - shut up), not really thinking that by doing so I would also be required to watch this....how can I put this kindly....unique movie. Then this Saturday while Allison was traveling to Savannah to take her exam, I accompanied so that I could find the DVD box set of The Flash which just came out. That was one of my favorite shows growing up - a very well done (possibly the most well done) comic book hero TV show ever made IMHO. When we got back from Savannah, I naturally wanted to watch The Flash - and Allison decided that it wasn't going to happen until we watched Flashdance. Realizing that my choices were watch Flashdance or never watch The Flash, I relented. I learned a long time ago that this whole compromise thing in a marriage really does suck sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. Anyway, I will not use this forum to bash Flashdance - others can do it much better than I can. The important thing is that I made it through that mindless drivel film, and now get to look forward to exacting revenge on my lovely bride by making her sit through all 22 episodes of The Flash. By the time it's over she won't remember Flashdance....but I'm sure she'll still remember that god-awful music.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Morgan gets a massage

So Allison cons talks me into going with her to get a couples massage at the European Day Spa on Hilton Head as our Valentines Day present to each other. She had gotten a gift certificate for Christmas, and invited me to go with her. She is no stranger to massages, but this was my first time. The idea of being rubbed down with oil by a complete stranger (and not in a sexy/porn kinda way) was not very appealing to me, but in the interest of trying new things I went along with it. Allison explains the ground rules to me before we go in - you go into the locker room, get completely undressed and put on a robe and slippers, then go out into the waiting room while you listen to relaxing music and wait for the masseuse to come and get you. Sounds silly, but simple enough. So I thought I was prepared. I make my way to the locker room, and get undressed. I found my robe and slippers, but after putting them on and then catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror - just felt completely ridiculous. If I could have gotten away with it, I'd have put my clothes back on and gotten the hell out of there. But, I told Allison I'd try so....off I go to the waiting room. Oh, there's the relaxing music - too bad it wasn't relaxing enough to make me forget how much of a goof I looked like. I sat next to Allison, and still feeling quite stupid, waited for the inevitable. After about 20 minutes (!) I met the woman who was going to touch me in places that I don't even touch myself. We made our way to the room, and made a little small-talk. She and the other woman who was going to give Allison her massage left for a few minutes so we could get undressed and get under the covers on the bed. There's still time, I think to myself, to get the hell out of here....but I persevere. The woman comes back, and so it begins....and I'm still stressed out and feeling stupid. To make a long story short, she rubbed oil all over me, poked and prodded me just about everywhere, and when it was over I had to ask myself....what was the point of that? I didn't feel relaxed, my body didn't feel "loose" - in fact, all I did feel was icky. Maybe my masseuse was just having an off day, but I didn't get anything from her that I couldn't have gotten from Allison. Other than an annoying "apply pressure on my brain stem" move that really hurt - all she did was just rub me down. So, feeling completely used and really gross, I put my robe back on and followed Allison out of the room. She asked me if I wanted some water, but could tell that I really just wanted a shower very, very badly. In the locker room, I quickly discover that there's no soap - I guess they don't maintain the men's locker room the way they do the women's. Would it have killed them to have a bar of Zest handy? I end up using about half of a large bottle of shampoo to get all that oil off of me, and it really didn't do the job. So after a while I just gave up and tried to towel as much of that crap off of me as I could. I got dressed and met Allison at the door. I had a far more sane rest of the day, and did thoroughly enjoy my shower when I got home.

I tried it, I can say I tried it, and that's great. I can also say that while it may be a thing that other people enjoy, it's just not my thing. Turns out I much prefer to be aquatinted with the people who rub me all over with scented oil. Who woulda thought that huh?

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Game on!

Went to Target with Matt today - we were looking for a phone jack splitter but instead we found the first ever "holy crap they actually have them in stock" XBOX 360's. I'd gone to Target back in November when it first launched - despite arriving at 8:02 AM, I walked away empty handed, as my fellow Bluffton gamers beat me to it by camping outside Target the night before. So it took a while, but I finally happened upon some in stock today. My credit card nearly jumped out of my wallet (and maybe it would have been better if it had), but I got it under control and signed my life away. Thankfully it seems that the Playstation 3 won't be released for quite a while, maybe not even this year, so I've got some time to pay this baby off. Now all I have to do is actually have a chance to use it - my lovely bride is seen here stealing it from me already! Actually, this is a good thing. If there's one thing I've learned over the years boys, it's that if your girl plays video games with you, she's a keeper :0)

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Hockey night!

I am currently writing this from our room at the LaQuinta Inn (which apparently is spanish for "hi-speed internet") in Charleston after having just watched the South Carolina Stingrays defeat the Greenville Grrrowl 3-1. This is the second minor league hockey game I've been to, and I have to say that while it's a fun atmosphere and exciting to watch (as all hockey is IMO), you can clearly tell you're not watching the pros. The passes aren't quite as crisp, the deke's don't always work, and team names are kinda silly. But none of that really matters - it's fun to see such a fast-paced sport live and in person. I would also like to see an Arena football game in person as well before it's all said and done (go CRUSH!!!). Anyway, if you find yourself in Charleston for some reason, drop $12 on a ticket and go see a hockey game. Thanks to Brian and Debz for inviting us to go along (and for driving).