Monday, December 26, 2005

Morgan Bonner's day off

Hope everyone had a great Christmas - we had a nice breakfast with the Mom's then I drove Allison to the airport where she took off for her fun-filled week long trip to Boise. I then headed to the Island to help Mom set up her new computer, and she was nice enough to prepare a home-cooked meal for me in return. I have to say that in terms of loot it was quite a haul - I received the ridiculously geeky LED binary watch which I just love and the Master Replicas Darth Vader Lightsaber shown here. Now that I've got both Anakin's and Vader's, who wants to have a duel? Anyway, now I have the day off of work. As stated previously, being the creature of habit that I most certainly am, days off freak me out. I am taken out of my routine, which is usually not my idea of high-jinks. So far I've only managed to come up with 3 things to do today - blog, go to work for a while (gotta do some stuff to the reporter workstations, and it's just SO much easier when they aren't around) and go to Target to get a Dustbuster. Seems when I was thinking that it would be a nice gift to get Allison a plane ticket to Boise for Christmas, I forgot that doing so entails cleaning up after two messy cats. All of that ought to take up....a few hours, so then afterwards I guess I'm foot-loose-and-fancy-free as they say. OOOOOh I know - I could catch up on my soaps! Does anybody know if Nick and Sharon are still together on Y&R? Cuz the last I heard she was getting it on with Nick's dad Victor. Dude not cool. Plus I wonder if the woman that played Lauren Fenmore is still on that show. Man I had a little bit of a crush on her growing up....the great thing about the soaps is that they hire actresses who apparently never age, so she still appears to look the same as she did 20 years ago. That's just freakin' sweet!

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Maybe when I turn 80 I'll try it

I will never understand why people play games with life. I will also never understand why people who get insanely lucky and survive after doing something stupid will then go and do it again....

story

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

What really grinds my gears

Have you noticed that when you eat Frosted Mini-Wheats, you have about 3 minutes to eat them before the frosting comes off in the milk? I love that cereal but I have to shovel it into my mouth otherwise I'm just eating straight fiber. I hate that. There has to be a way to make it so that you can get that sugary-goodness in every bite. Come on people....didn't a bunch of you go to college? Help me out!! A free box of Frosted Mini-Wheats to the person who come up with a better solution than mine....which was to dip each indivdual mini-wheat in a glass of milk, like it was a freakin' Oreo. Amazingly enough, that didn't really work so well....I got the sugar in every bite, but it took me 2 hours to eat the whole bowl. Bah.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Trimming the (crap out of the) tree

Stop me if you've heard this one: man wants colored lights on his christmas tree (or Holiday tree if you prefer - yes, we evil, evil secularists are in fact trying to steal your Christmas one symbol at a time MUUHHHAAAA), but woman wants white lights. Or this one: man wants Denver Bronco helmet ornament on his tree, but woman wants Idaho potato ornament. Oh wait...that one probably hasn't happened to you. But I bet the first one has. In any case, as you can see we decorated our tree this weekend, and as always "compromised" on the lights - although it seems to me there are twice as many white lights than colored lights but I digress. Anyway, one day I'm going to have a tree just the way I want it - LOTS of colored lights, silver and gold tinsel, and the biggest, brightest lit-up fiber optic X-Wing Fighter in the world proudly placed at the very top. So now that the tree is trimmed, the only question left is whether or not Santa will leave a XBOX 360 under my tree. I know, I know....I have a better shot at getting the fiber optic X-Wing on top of the tree. Sigh.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The truth hurts

This one goes out to all my homies in the field of system administration.....

Top 10 System Administrator Truths

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Fascinating...

Your World View

You are a happy, well-balanced person who likes people and is liked by others.
You question whether many conventional views on morality are valid under all circumstances.
You are essentially a content person.

Sometimes, you consider yourself a little superior.
You are moral by your own standards.
You believe that morality is what best suits the occasion.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Hob-knobbing with the stars (of Bluffton)

Tonight I attended the premier-before-the-premier of the new Bluffton movie theater complex that opens tomorrow night. It was a star-studded event, with the Mayor of Bluffton, the entire town council, and Bluffton's best and brightest (and richest) in attendance. What in the world was I doing at such an event you ask? Well, the architecture firm that Allison works for designed the entire complex, so her office got the invite, and I was her tag-along. I have to say that I am usually uncomfortable in any situation where someone is walking around offering me hors' dourves every few minutes, but the thought of never, EVER again having to go to Hilton Head or Beaufort to see a movie had me far too pleased to realize I was throughly out of place amongst the architects, engineers, bankers, politicians, etc. It is really awesome to know that not only is there now a theater (one of the nicest I've ever been in) about 3000 feet from my home, but my beautiful wife played a role in creating it. Now that I can finally write-off Northridge once and for all, the only thing left to do is to hope and pray that Superman Returns doesn't suck.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

No, I can't help you with that. Try Google.

From my favorite computer stupidities website.....this one struck me as I've had several conversations with people at work (who shall remain nameless) asking me how to pursue various illegal activities online - getting free music, copying DVD's, etc.....

Customer: "Hi, I need some help."

Tech Support: "That's what we're here for. How may I help you?"

Customer: "I've heard of people getting on the Internet and using it to hack into their banks and change account balances, and I was wondering if you could walk me through that."

Tech Support: "No sir, that's strictly illegal. We can't do that here."

Customer: "No, don't try and pull any fast ones. There's nothing illegal on the Internet."

Tech Support: "Yes there is, sir. You can break the law on the Internet."

Customer: "Look, son, don't you go making up any stories about laws on the Internet. If you don't know how to do what I want you to, put me on the line with someone who does!"

Tech Support: "Sir, there is no way anyone here will help you with that or any other illegal activity."

Customer: "That's IT! If you don't know what you're doing, I want to talk to your supervisor now!"

This would be the first and only time I ever heard a supervisor call a customer an idiot over the phone.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

By the bye

Once every football season, usually around week 9 or so, the Broncos don't play. Whenever this happens, my weekend is thrown completely out of whack. Those magical 3 hours that I can usually count on aren't there. So I have to find other ways to pass the time. I started the 2005 Broncos bye week by attempting to sleep in. As always, I had no success. I dearly wish I knew why I can't seem to get back to sleep after I've woken up. Anyway, I let Allison sleep (she doesn't have any problem sleeping past noon) and went out to the living room to play a little Soul Calibur. Three hours later (love that game) Allison awoke and promptly asked what we were doing for the rest of the day. A question I'd been asking myself since the Broncos schedule was released last spring. We ended up watching a movie that was pretty boring save for some eye candy, and going to the park to have a picnic and toss around the football. I will say that it was a relaxing day, not having to worry about losing and all. But there's nothing quite like rooting for my team on a Sunday. I will be very happy to be able to do so once again, especially since it is now officially Raider week.

What is silver and black, silver and black, and silver and black? A drunken Raider fan rolling down the bleachers.

You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and a Raiders fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?  Shoot the Raiders fan – twice.

What do Raiders fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.

Friday, October 28, 2005

The Geeks shall inherit the Earth

For some reason, my lovely wife saw this Swiss Army knife with a built-in 256MB flash drive, and thought of me! I used the flash drive, the screwdriver and the light in just the first 3 hours I was at work! Thank you baby :) If anybody is looking for Christmas presents for Morgan, you can pretty much buy anything from this site, and I'll be happy....

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Adventures in CRACKberry land


If you have spent any time with me in the past year, chances are you've seen me tapping away on my beloved Blackberry. More so than any other gadget I've ever owned, this baby has changed my life. However, she has two major shortcomings, although only one of which is her fault: first, I get very little reception at home thanks to being a Verizon customer. It's enough to get data on, but not enough for voice. The other, and this one is a little more personal, is that if you've ever seen me using it as a phone, then you know how big of a dork (ok, how much bigger of a dork) I look like holding what appears to be a calculator up to my ear.

As we have recently re-signed here at the apartment for another year, I am in need of an upgrade. Although it will pain me greatly to give up my baby, it is kinda important that I be reachable when those late night ad problems strike. With this in mind, I must fire up my reality distortion field (not to be confused with the somebody else's problem field) and convince my wonderful-human-being-whom-I-am-so-lucky-to-work-for boss to let me get one of these puppies. She's purdy.....and built in GPS!!!! Firggin' SWEET!! Anyway, keep those cards and letters coming people - Morgan needs a new toy!

Monday, October 24, 2005

Somewhere out there exists a version of Morgan that actually updates his blog

I read this article and decided I'd share with the group. I'm not generally one to start a debate on quantum mechanics at the local watering hole (cuz I think getting a passing grade in Algebra 1 is a prerequisite) but I've always been facincated by the many-worlds theory. Think of every major decision you've ever made - now imagine a universe that exists outside of our own where you made the opposite decision. This can be anything from asking Jennifer to the prom instead of Kelly, or having french toast one morning instead of pancakes. What is your life like in a different universe where you turned left instead of turning right? Obviously, the implications of such a state - one in which anything that can happen, does - are profound. Many opponents of the theory are seemingly driven primarily by the belief that you cannot possibly have a soul if there is an infinite number of one individual spread across different realities. But I say that my soul is no more or less intact than that of duplicate Morgan #1199r249929ssl2k299911k, who is supreme ruler of the universe. Well, his universe anyway.

Discuss.
/bonus points for anyone who reads both those links in their entirety....
//double bonus points for anyone that understands more than 20% of it....

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Never fear - The Wind Bug is here!

Your Superhero Profile

Your Superhero Name is The Wind Bug
Your Superpower is Artificial Intelligence
Your Weakness is Women
Your Weapon is Your Snot Blaster
Your Mode of Transportation is a Rainbow

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The way of the Ninja

Not much has been going on this week....been pretty much just eating, sleeping, working and oh yeah....having a video game make me it's bitch. The game I speak of is Ninja Gaiden Black - an update to a game that ate up about a month of my life last year. This time around they made it even harder, and I'm loving every frustrating, irritating and controller-slamming moment of it. Given that I gave up baseball about 15 years ago, and haven't played any competitive tennis in a looooong time, it seems that video games are the only thing I have left to get those competitive juices flowing. Hey, at least the juices are still flowing. If I ever start to look anything like this, it's a safe bet they aren't anymore....

Monday, October 03, 2005

They're even better in person

In the spirit of my last post, at the last minute I decided to go see the Broncos play in Jacksonville yesterday. As you can see from the picture, we didn't have the greatest seats, and it did rain off and on, but even so a great time was had by all. Oh, and the Broncos won 20-7, much to the chagrin of a few obnoxious (though not as bad as some others we've been around) Jaguar fans. After the game we found ourselves right in the middle of a huge crowd of Bronco fans who had gathered outside the buses that were taking the Bronco players to the airport. Sadly we couldn't stay and wait for them to show, as we had to get back to begin our bus ride from hell. However on the way home, the Bronco buses and a police escort passed us on the road. To think.....I was that close to Mike Shanahan, Jake Plummer, Champ Bailey, and the rest of the gang. It got me thinking about what I'd say to Mike Shanahan if I ever met him. There's a million things I should want to ask him, but the only thing I keep coming up with is this: how in the world can John Elway be a Republican? Breaks my heart every single time I think of it....but then again, nobody's perfect.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

30 in 30

Today I am 27 and a half years old. I mention this because it means that in just 30 months I will turn 30. 30 months left before I start the long slow decent into middle age. I keep thinking about this quote that I read a while back: "if your memories exceed your dreams, the end is near". What happened to that idealistic young man I used to know? The one who already had his agenda for his first term as President laid out and was working on his goals for the second....it seems he has been replaced by someone who gets caught up in the practicality of every day life. But that's supposed to happen to you AFTER you hit 30. It seems I'm a little early - I need to do something about that. I have 912 days left to do so.....

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Stupid Internet personality test

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest:
You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you.

At Your Lowest:
You require a lot of attention and praise.

In Love:
You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are.

How You're Attractive:
You're dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic.

Your Eternal Question:
"Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

Well, that's disturbingly accurate. Except for the "eternal question" part. I rather tend to think that my eternal question is more along the lines of "where is my next meal coming from?".....

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Go! Fight! Win!

Stacy was kind enough to invite Allison and I to the South Carolina/Troy football game yesterday. We left for Columbia at 2PM, stopped at some place called "Dukes BBQ" that Stacy swears by (quite good - need to get one in Bluffton), then got to the stadium. After spending obscene amounts of money on concessions we settled in and watched the game. I must say that while I'm sure I would have been more excited had I had a vested interest in either of the teams playing, it was still a great time. I do enjoying going to a live football game every once in a while. You tend to lose perspective when you only watch it on TV. Thanks for the invite Stacy - maybe someday we'll go to the Clemson game with you, and this time when I wear my orange and blue I'll get yelled at have have things thrown at me.....ahh.....good times.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Cruel Summer

It just dawned on me that today is the last day of summer. Even though this date feels largely symbolic, given that it was in the 90's today, I still find this fact pleasing. Goodbye summer of 2005....how about you let the door nail you in the ass on the way out....

"Hot summer streets and the pavements are burning I sit around trying to smile but the air is so heavy and dry strange voices are saying (ah, what did they say) things I can't understand it's too close for comfort this heat has got right out of hand It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer leaving me here on my own it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer now you're gone you're not the only one it's a cruel The city is crowded, my friends are away, and I'm on my own it's too hot to handle so I gotta get up and go, and go It's a cruel, (cruel) cruel summer leaving me here on my own it's a cruel, (it's a cruel) cruel summer now you're gone you'e not the only one"

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Holding my tongue

I have spoken on this blog in the past about how much I dig my job, and the people that I work with. However, there is one downside to my job - I have to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I am VERY fortunate that my position rarely requires me to interact with the public. 99% of the time I speak to someone from the outside world it's because customer service has transfered a person with a question about the website to me by accident. This is a good thing, because my people skills, in a word, bite.

However, this past week I have really, REALLY wanted to give the general public a piece of my mind. We have recently re-designed the Island Packet's website. The usual suspects who hate change in any form in their lives came out in full force to voice their meaningless displeasure with us. It's not so much that they are bitching about the new look - it's the arrogance, the "I know better" attitude that I am particularly annoyed by. These people cannot apparently fathom that we might have had a reason for doing things the way we've done them.

However, as I have nothing to do with the website, I can add nothing constructive to the discussion, so I have to refrain from commenting. For someone like me, who does not easily sit back and let his friends be attacked in any manner, this is a very difficult thing to do. My hats off to Chris and Brian, who not only have to actually interact with these melvins, but do so in a courteous, professional manner. My hats off to you gentlemen.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Pardon me.....I have nothing to say

So what does one talk about on his blog when one has had nothing interesting of note happen to him lately, and the only semi-interesting story to tell has already been told by his wife? I guess you just talk about how there's nothing to talk about. Which should make for an utterly fascinating post, even by my standards. Enjoy.

Monday, September 05, 2005

I coulda been a Mathlete

I am a fast food connoisseur. McDonalds, Arbys, Wendy's, Popeyes.....hell, even Subway. I have seen and done it all as far as those places go - at least I thought I had until today. Today....I had the strangest experience I've ever had. I found myself at Burger King for lunch, and when I got up to the counter I ordered my food just like I've done a million times. I could tell something was wrong immediately though, as I had to repeat my order 3 times since the woman was clearly having trouble putting it into the register. When she finally got it right, she told me my total was $7.90. I gave her a $20 dollar bill, and waited patiently for my change. I could tell she was having trouble....then things simply went berserk. She took my receipt that had my order number on it back from me - literally, took it out of my hand. She then proceeded to grab a pen, and WROTE this down on my receipt:

20.00
- 7.90
______

Now, at this point I'm in a state of shock, not fully realizing what I'm seeing. She's crossing out zeros, and she's doing her best - but she can't get it. I mean, she writes it down 3 times, and each time she can't figure it out. She must be panicking I'm thinking....so I figure I'll just give her some time....which is why I nearly passed out from shock when she proceeded to TAKE THE NEXT PERSON'S ORDER while still holding my $20 bill and while I'm still standing there! She gets her order right on the first try, then proceeds to enter the $5.00 that she was given into the register, which promptly spat out 17 cents change to the dude behind me. So anyway, she looks at me and says "just a minute sir" and punches in some more info into the register. It opens and she pulls out a $10 dollar bill and a $1 dollar bill....and a dime. Now, I suck at math. I mean, the only class I ever failed in school was Algebra 1. But even with my rudimentary math skills, I was instantly aware that I was coming up a buck short. So I politely asked her if the total was indeed $7.90. She said "yes". I then asked if I had given her a $20, and she said "yes". At that point I said "ok, so then the change should be $12.10". To her credit, she handed me another $1 dollar bill without argument, and I got my food without further incident. However, I spent the rest of my lunch pondering just how close we all are to total anarchy were those cash registers in fast food places to stop working for an extended period of time. Can you imagine if the majority of Americans had to do math in their head? We'd be pretty screwed - and I'd die of starvation.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Reason enough to have kids


So Allison is in Atlanta for a few days, leaving me with lots (and lots) of time on my hands this holiday weekend. I tried to spend as much of it as I could catching up on stuff at work, but I've done everything I can do there and the 3 day weekend isn't even half over :( so how to spend the last Sunday without football for the next several months? I know....I'll mindlessly surf the internet! I don't do that nearly enough....so in the first 10 minutes I stumble across the decor for my unborn child's bedroom. What luck! See, I'm thinking start the kid off with this, then gradually move them to the Broncos bedroom set when they get a little older. What if I have a girl you ask? Hey, there are lots of female Jedi, although my daughter prolly won't be blue.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I hate hurricanes

My heart goes out to all the people who's lives have been ruined by hurricane Katrina. Obviously being on the South Carolina coast we live with the threat of these f'ing things every August and September. I'd like to think that were that to happen here, we'd react in a professional, humane way. But watching the reports of the looting and violence that is currently happening....I'm reminded of a quote from a Star Trek: Deep Space Nine episode - they are in the middle of a battle, and Quark (a Ferengi, for all you non-Trekkers) sums up some of us "hewmons" pretty well:

"Let me tell you something about Hewmons, Nog. They're a wonderful, friendly people -- as long as their bellies are full and their holosuites are working. But take away their creature comforts...deprive them of food, sleep, sonic showers... put their lives in jeopardy over an extended period of time... and those same friendly, intelligent, wonderful people will become as nasty and violent as the most bloodthirsty Klingon. You don't believe me? Just look at those faces...look in their eyes."

I hope things get better, and in a hurry. Sadly, I have a feeling they won't :(

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Back in blue (and orange)


Tonight I watched my first Bronco game in over 8 months. They defeated the Colts 37-24, but the important thing was that it's football, and it's back! THANK GOODNESS. It will be so nice to have my Sunday's taken up with football once again, especially since currently my Sunday's are taken up with complete and utter boredom. Still gotta work on getting the Ticket someday....but at least it's better now than it was back when I was young Broncomanic....

Growing up we had no cable TV, nor did we have any local NBC station. I mention this because back then NBC broadcast the AFC games. So that meant that the only time I got to see the Broncos play was when they were on Monday Night Football - or when they were in the playoffs. This was also back in the days before the web, so I never did hear any news or information about the team during the week. I was lucky to catch a highlight or two on my local news sports cast. It was truly the dark ages....how did we ever survive those days? Anyway, I'm quite glad it's 2005, and if I'm willing to cough up the dough, I can see my team play whenever I want. Of course, I spend all my money on computers and other assorted gadgets, so....umm....anyone who has the Ticket wanna invite me over? I'll bring the Texas Caviar....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Thou shall not kill (unless they really have it coming of course)

So, ok - lately I haven't been paying as much attention to the news as I usually do (hey, it's been a crazy few weeks, and anyway I'd like to see you give 20 Island Packet reporters - most of whom view change as a fate worse than death - state-of-the-art computers...). So perhaps that's why I was so surprised to hear that my good friend Pat Robertson called for someone's assassination. Actually, I wasn't surprised that such a good Christian like Pat would advocate the murder of another human being. No, I was just surprised that our State Department actually called the remark "inappropriate". Now THAT's shocking....

Link

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Random thoughts for a Wednesday night....


For some reason, I can't seem to get enough of these crappy frozen soft pretzels lately. Weird. I know it has something to do with the special pretzel salt though :)

I just have to take this opportunity to thank my boss for picking up this wonderful little piece of software - two nights in a row I've logged into a computer at work from the comfort of my couch, taken control of it, and fixed problems that would ordinarily require me to get off the couch, get dressed and go back to work. Mmm....geeky.....

I CANNOT stop listening to this song by Jill Scott - do yourself a favor and buy it. Now. (link opens iTunes....unless you're my Mother and don't have iTunes....we really need to get you iTunes Mom...:)

Friday, August 12, 2005

Alive and kicking

It's been 36 hours or so since I downed a steak quesadilla from Amigos. So far, I have avoided any unpleasant encounters with my toilet like the kind I had the last time I ate the food there. It actually was pretty tasty. But I won't be making a habit of going there. I am always wary of places that make you pay for the food before you actually are served said food. Not only that, but there is a tip jar right at the register - so you pay before you get the food, AND you tip before you get any service??? Am I the only one who thinks this is strange? What if the food and the service sucks? I know, I know....that would never happen....it's not like you'd ever find yourself passed out on your bathroom floor on Christmas Eve or anything....anyway, I survived, and I'm glad that I got over my issues and gave it another shot. I think all that's left is for me to visit another country. Maybe I'll go to Canada on my next vacation eh? Either that or Texas. Bah....scratch that - I'm never setting one foot in Texas.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

10 things I think I think

1. I think I'm shocked that the Island Packet was published for 9 days straight without me.

2. I think that Bluffton Today will be destroyed once my pal Robyn gets done with them.

3. I think that I am more ready for this football season to start than any other before it.

4. I think that the Broncos will defeat the Falcons in Super Bowl XL.

5. I think that cats have a way of sensing grief and responding with extra affection.

6. I think that Bud Light and beer in general tastes like carbonated ass.

7. I think I'm going back to Amigos tomorrow.

8. I think I am throughly enjoying taking out my frustrations on the heavy bag at the gym these days.

9. I think I'm also glad that the heavy bag can't hit back.

10. I think I'm hungry.

Friday, August 05, 2005

Spine tingling

So there I am - well, actually, that's not me - that's some other guy I found when doing a Google image search. But mine looked a lot like that. A little less curved maybe. And I think a few of my vertebra are facing the opposite direction. But anyway, I saw my spine today. According to my new friends at the Chiropractors office, it's in pretty good shape. Although there are a few "problems" up towards the top of my neck (hence the pain I guess, but of course I'm no doctor...). So they wanted to start my treatments immediately. 3 times a week for 4 weeks straight. Now, putting aside the questions I have about the validity of chiropractic medicine in the first place, of more immediate concern is the fact that since my insurance does not cover any of it, we would be talking about a total cost of $468 to have these treatments!

Obviously, I think I will be sticking to the Advil for the time being. My hope is to upgrade my insurance at some point and then go to a real.....err....I mean....more specialized physician.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

I laugh in the face of pain (and then run away quickly)

So for the last 6 months or so I have been having some neck pain - might have something to do with the fact that I stupidly spent the prior 2 years looking down on my laptop screen at my desk for 8 hours a day. I've since moved it up to eye-level, which has kept my neck from getting any worse, but it still flares up whenever I drive for more than 10 minutes, sit on the couch to watch TV, etc. So on my to-do list for my week off was to try to get it fixed up.

There's two things that can be said about me - I'm lazy, and I don't like Doctors (yes, I know there's a lot more that can be said about me - shut up). So, naturally a visit to the "Bluffton Chiropractic" office that is located 300 feet behind the Packet seemed a natural choice to try to alleviate my neck pain with as little time and effort from me as possible.

So I go in, and the first thing they have me do is watch a video about chiropractic medicine. Ya know, how it's not, for lack of a better phrase, a crock of shit. Anyway, about 5 minutes into that, I had to get the nurse to tell her that looking down at the TV WAS HURTING MY NECK!!! So then they put me on this bed that had some frickin' dough-roller thing that went up and down my back to “loosen me up”. Finally, I see the doctor - she was very nice, but man I wish I could be sure I wasn't getting ripped off. So she puts some instruments on my back feed some readings into a computer, then she takes an x-ray - she says when I come back tomorrow (!) we'll go over the x-ray. So I think I'm done - OH NO! I still have to have my “adjustment”. She lays me down on one of those beds that they use, and starts pushing, prodding and twisting my body in a hundred different directions. Finally we come to the neck - the thing I went there for. She takes my head in her hands, leans over - the last thought I had was “jeez, her breasts are RIGHT in my face - I wonder if she does that on purpose to distract me from AAAARRRGGGHHHH SSSSHHHHHHHIIIIIIITTTTTT!!!!!” The pain lasted an instant, but I nearly passed out. So anyway, I'm finally done with my adjustment, and next thing I know I'm scheduling another appointment tomorrow. Oh, and naturally, my insurance does NOT cover visits to the Chiropractor - damn PPO2 whateverthehell insurance plan I have. When I first went in there, I remembered back to when I was first hired (well, second hired) and Jolie telling me that that plan was basically just so that you wouldn't go bankrupt if you went into a coma. Oh well, at least Blue Cross won't get any of my deductible.

So now as I blog this wonderful event today I'm laying flat on my back because that's the only position I can stand to be in without any pain. Don't these people still have to adhere to the hippocratic oath? Aren't they "doctors"? How come I went in for neck pain, which I not only still have, but came out with back pain as well? AND was charged $59 for my "adjustment" which didn't do anything but "adjust" the amount of pain I was in to a higher level. My appointment to look at my x-ray is tomorrow at 3:30 - I expect to be told that my spine is shaped like a telephone pole when it should be shaped like a banana, and that I'll need more "adjustments" to fix it - at $39 dollars a pop of course. Maybe I'll just forget about the chiropractor and take some friggin' Tylenol for my neck. Actually, maybe I'll just take some Tylenol right the hell now. Ow.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Taking a little time off

Today marks the first of 9 straight days that I do not intend to step one foot into work. I am officially on vacation!

And yes, I'm bored already.

But, that's the point I guess. I need to do some serious catching up on my sleep. I mean, we're talking at least 12 hours a day here. That's pretty much my only plan - eat, sleep, eat, sleep - they say if you spend enough time around your pets that you start to act like them. Or, is it that you start to look like them? Either way, it is going to be a long week....

Monday, July 25, 2005

WAY better than Northridge

Well, for those of you who are still bothering to view my blog, you may be wondering just what the heck I've been doing for these past 4 weeks since Charleston. Well, it's a long, sad story, one which I have no desire to put online for all the world to see, but hopefully most of my loyal readers already know what's been happening. In any case, I'm back now and ready to share all of my mis-adventures!

This past weekend I had my first ever encounter with a drive-in movie. It was an interesting, if expensive experience. They only charged $4 per person to see two movies, so you would think that you are getting quite a deal. And you would be - provided you had dinner before you got there. If you hadn't, then you would spend quite a bit of money on the admittedly delicious hot dogs, hamburgers, sno cones, soft pretzels, nachos, ice cream, and oh yes, popcorn that were available at the concession stand. I am aware that theaters make their money from concessions, but this drive-in had a lot more than your standard fair, and as a result, I spent more for one night at the movies than I ever have before. Other than the costs involved, I enjoyed the experience. Well, I enjoyed it after I got some bug spray. They showed "The Island" which I liked much more than I thought I would. I just love movies that have a title that has very little to do with the actual plot. Makes you surprised when you finally see it. So, in closing, go to the Hwy. 21 Drive In in Beaufort sometime. Bring a lawn chair, bug spray - and for the love of god, eat dinner before you get there.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

335 years of history in 1 hour

So we took a quick little trip to Charleston yesterday - specifically to see Batman Begins at the IMAX theater, but also to see a little of the city, which although my Mother claims that I have been there before, I have no memory of. To achieve this goal, we took a ride on one of their famous carriage tours.

We interrupt this post to bring you the following message - Horses smell. Bad. We now return you to Morgan's blog....

We were pulled through town by a couple of mules, all the while dodging traffic. The good people of Charleston undoubtedly are used to sharing their roads with Horses - the tourists are not. I have never been so close (I'm talking inches people) to on-coming traffic in my life. How more people aren't killed on those streets I have no idea....anyway, our pilot and tour guide was a friendly fellow, and quite humorous. He made one or two passing references to the "War of Northern Aggression" as well as talked our ears off about the 12,000 churches in the area ("any Methodists on board? Well, look over to your right...."), but overall it was pleasant and some of the historical places were quite interesting. I especially liked the hotel that we passed that he said both Robert E. Lee and Halle Barry stayed in. Not together, as far as they know.

Friday, June 24, 2005

They've got mail

Today concludes my (first) week of e-mail hell at work. We have been setting up a new e-mail server, and will continue to be migrating users over from the old one for the foreseeable future. My main goal for this week was to get the Ad Reps their e-mail accounts - they have only been whining about not having e-mail every day for the last 7 and a half years I've been at the Packet (and yes, I'm counting the year I spent in Boise, cuz I'm sure they bitched about it then too). So by Tuesday night everything was set up, and I left them all a nice little note saying that their account was active and a little info about the e-mail program that we're using, Entourage (which I'm not really pleased with at all, but then again, it's made by you-know-who, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised...). For the most part, I have been pleasantly surprised with the lack of help that they have needed. Has given me plenty of time to contemplate the next massive project I have to look forward to because of the new e-mail server: moving 20 reporters off of OS 8.6 and onto OS X. Now, because of training issues, this will be slightly more challenging - especially given that I'm quite certain there are at least 5 of them who would much rather have one of these than a computer at all, let alone a brand new one. Should be interesting....wish me luck!

Saturday, June 18, 2005

New arrival


IMG_0731
Originally uploaded by morganbonner.
Yes, I know I said I was enjoying being out of debt. And for the most part, I still am. But after already having exceeded my 2-year Mac upgrade cycle by nearly 9 months, it was time. Meet the newest addition to our family, a 20' iMac G5. It sure is purdy huh? So....anyone wanna buy a sightly used but lovingly-cared for eMac? Comes with free tech support for life!!

Friday, June 10, 2005

I'll miss Skinamax

The highlight of this week has been the switch over to a different cable company at Summer Isle. The original owner of Summer Isle was also the owner of a cable company based in Marietta, GA, so that's the cable company we had. One of the perks was free pay channels - HBO, Showtime, Cinamax, etc. Of course, that was just about the only perk. They couldn't keep UPN on the air (a big thank you to Mom for taping Enterprise for me these last two years), several other channels were just dropped with no explanation, and their customer "service" was anything but. So now under new ownership, Summer Isle finally brought in a new cable TV provider, Shentel, which seems to be based out of Virginia. You would think with such a dramatic change, the least we could have expected out of this new company might be a new channel line-up card or something. But no - I've spent the last 2 nights trying to figure out what's what. Not only that, but naturally, the pay channels are gone. No more late night crappy porn. Oh well....at least we've got SpikeTV back - MXC rules....

Monday, June 06, 2005

Bonner family vacation


IMG_0723
Originally uploaded by morganbonner.
We have returned from Orlando, where we spent 3 days and 3 nights doing the amusement park thing. We went to Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure (if you ever ride the Dueling Dragons roller coaster, make sure you sit in the front row - it's worth it), and Downtown Disney. We also saw Cirque Du Soleil's "La Nouba". Now, if you've ever seen a Cirque show, you know that it defies description, so I won't bother trying to write one. I will say however, that even though it's not really up my alley, if you ever have the chance to see a performance, you owe it to yourself to go, just to say you saw it.

The highlight of the trip for yours truly would prolly have to be my first pilgrimage to an Apple Store. Since I generally tend to think of traveling the way I think of cancer, I had never made it to one before (still patiently waiting for one to open in Savannah - are you listening Steve?). It was a surreal experience being in that store, because of the knowledge that if I wasn't working as the Mac guy for the Island Packet newspaper, I'd be working at this store (well, not the Orlando store. Maybe Denver....). Anyway, I resisted the urge to walk out with a new iMac, even though they had plenty of them (they also had numerous iBooks...sorry Robyn!). I didn't come away empty handed though, as I bought a new power adapter for my PowerBook - I somehow managed to rip a hole in my old one during the trip, and also managed to give myself a good electrical shock in the process. Thankfully, I didn't set the hotel on fire. This time.

A good time was had by all. We could have had nicer weather, but for the most part, it was nice to get away for a little while and breathe some non-Packet air. The main thing I hate about going new places is the driving. I can't stand the stress of having to read a map, follow signs and drive in 5 lane traffic all at the same time. This time however, I had an ace in the hole - my GPS device worked wonders. Although it took us the long way to a couple of places, it always got us there. It really was like driving with someone who knew where they were going. It made the trip far less-stressful that it would have otherwise been for me. My geekdom and love of gadgets has finally paid off!

Friday, June 03, 2005

Holy crap! I'm in an Apple store!!!!

Umm....that is all. I'm gonna go buy something now.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Of course, his first mistake was seeing Star Wars at Northridge to begin with...

Whenever a new Star Wars movie comes out you get the requisite stories floating around out there about nerds like myself who have waited in line at the wrong theater, or the dudes who used actual fuel in their lightsabers. Frankly, these stories give all us decent, hard-working, clean-living SW fans a bad name. But perhaps the strangest of all the SW stories that I've heard comes to us from our very own backyard.

Linky

Next time he might want to just plunk down the five bones for a ticket. At least that way he could actually see the end of the movie before having the crap kicked out of him by the cops.

Friday, May 27, 2005

I could get used to this....

Now, I love what I do, and I love the people that I help on a daily basis (well most of them anyway), but there is just something about seeing your name in print....

Click here....

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Mile High Rice?

The Broncos are reportedly very interested in bringing Jerry Rice aboard this season - I for one, hope to hell it happens. Anyone who saw that Monday night game last year that Seattle played against Dallas knows that the man can still play. All that's needed is for someone to throw him the ball. Besides, as far as WR's go, Denver has Rod Smith, Ashley Lelie and.....ummm......yeah.

Unlike many Bronco fans, I am not calling for Shannahan's head every 5 minutes because they haven't won a playoff game since the last Super Bowl win in '98. However, he is from the Bill Walsh school of coaching, which teaches that you should never stay anywhere in the NFL for more than 10 years. This will be year 10 of the Shannahan era....something tells me this is gonna be a very, very good year in Broncoland :)
/if they can just avoid the friggin' Colts in the playoffs....

Sunday, May 22, 2005

Star Wars update

I'm on my way to see Star Wars for the 3rd time this afternoon in Beaufort. Saw it yesterday on the Island with Mom. I may see it again next week when Allison's family is in town for her graduation, but I think 4 times will be enough. I know, I know....I can't believe I just said that either. But you know, it's starting to get to be an expensive proposition. Yesterday the dude at Park Plaza changed me $6 for the ticket!!!! $6 for a matinee!!!! If it had been any other movie besides Star Wars, I would have announced to him that he was little more than bantha fodder, and left immediately. Everyone's just got to screw us Star Wars fans out of a little more each time don't they?

If only my Lightsaber was real....just for a few seconds....oh man....someone woulda lost an arm by now....

Friday, May 20, 2005

The Packet turns to the dark side

So yesterday my very own paper runs an article in the front page of the business section with a headline reading "Do you know where your IT worker is today?". Apparently, a Chcago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas Inc., predicts a rise in employee absenteeism that could cost U.S. employers $627 million dollars in "lost productivity" on Thursday and Friday. These "experts" also predict that Information Technology workers are most likely to call in sick.

Two points:

First of all, this doesn't make sense. How many jobs are there in this country that don't give sick days and vacation days? I'm assuming these people have a certain amount of time off to use in a year - if they take May 19th off, don't they have to make up that day some other time during the year? Aren't the 8 hours they took off budgeted for by their employer? How is this costing the company productivity?

Second of all, not only is it completely stereotypical and bogus to say that IT workers are the most likely to call in sick, it's also totally unfair. Are there one or two IT droids in this country who called in sick? Sure - but then there are one or two IT droids in this country who happen to be axe murders also. The vast majority of IT workers didn't call in sick - like me, they considerately scheduled their day off a year in advance the moment George announced the date that Star Wars was coming out.

I have been told I'm not allowed to write a letter to the editor at the Packet over this outrage because I am an employee. I have also been told that my wife is not allowed to write a letter to the editor. If any of my loyal readers who DON'T work for the Packet (all 3 of you) want to help me out, let me know. This dishonor must not go unchallenged!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The force is strong with this one....

I am a prequel apologist. I throughly enjoyed both Episode I and II. While other Star Wars fans decried much of the dialogue, acting and the very presence of Jar Jar Binks, I was simply amazed by each one. This is because I view each of these movies as chapters in one big story - you don't put down "To Kill a Mockingbird" because there are a few slow chapters or you think one of the characters is annoying do you? Anyway, last night, it was finally time for Episode III.

I bought our tickets online for the midnight showing in Savannah. Allison and I, along with Brian and Deborah met up at 10PM, then drove to the theater. When we arrived, we were immediately surrounded by Stormtroppers and Wookies - I felt right at home! The atmosphere was electric - it's not every day that you are completely surrounded by people who are as passionate as you are about a shared interest. There were people of all ages and races (and species!) in attendance - quite a galactic melting pot. We were shown into one of the theaters playing the movie, and immediately became aware that the air conditioning was not working in that theater. However no one said a word about their discomfort. We were all there to see Star Wars and nothing else mattered. To their credit, the theater staff felt that we didn't deserve to sweat through the movie, so they asked us all to move to another theater. Of course, the other movie that was playing in that theater hadn't finished yet, so we all waited in the hallway outside for 30 minutes. Again, no one complained. Finally we entered the theater, and proceeded to patiently wait another half-hour for the movie to start. Everyone was excited - lightsabers were being waved around, people telling each other of their previous Star Wars experiences. At 11:55, someone in the front row yelled out "5 MINUTES!!" and everyone applauded. At the stroke of midnight, the lights went down....and 10 minutes worth of previews and commercials began! Again, no one had anything negative to say - we'd all been waiting nearly 3 decades to see how it turned out - another few minutes wouldn't kill us. After the last preview, when the "A long time ago in a galaxy far far away..." come on the screen, it seemed as though everyone held their breath. At last, we saw the famous opening crawl and heard the familiar Star Wars theme play - there was quick applause, then we all sat back to enjoy the show.

And enjoy it we did.

But now...it's over. I've seen the last Star Wars movie I will ever see. I knew this fact going in and yet nothing could have prepared me for how sad I feel at this fact. People who walk into my apartment and see all my toys and memorabilia always have the same question on the tip of their tongue that they are simply too polite to ask - how can a grown man be so consumed by this childish fantasy? The answer is simple - it's precisely because of it's childishness that I am consumed! Star Wars is a connection to my childhood, a time when I truly believed anything was possible. As adults, we know better - this world can truly be an awful place sometimes. Knowing this makes me hold onto the memories of having lightsaber fights with my friends or talking to each other in backwards sentences like Yoda that much harder.

Sometimes I envy all those young children that have never seen Star Wars - they will get to watch the entire story unfold in 12 hours, where as I had to wait 28 years. I envy the happiness they will feel the first time they fly their X-Wing fighter around their bedroom. I envy them for the sense of awe and wonder that they will have after watching these movies for the first time. Who knows - maybe one day they will envy me as well. After all, they'll never know the experience of a midnight showing, being surrounded by other Star Wars fans. They will never know the excitement of being at the music store the minute it opens just to get John Williams musical score, then popping it in the CD player in the car on the way to work (which by now you are late for!). Above all, they won't realize until they grow up how wonderful it is to lose yourself and all your problems for a few hours in that galaxy far, far away. Remember....the force will be with you...always.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

What was I just saying about saving money?

The XBOX 360 was announced last week, and then this week I got the Playstation 3 thrown in my face. It won't be out for a year or so, giving me time to save my pennies - and save them I will. Man this thing looks pretty dang sweet. I wouldn't consider myself a hardcore gamer - I enjoy beating the crap out of people in Soul Calibur, and having the crap beat out of me in HALO multiplayer, but other than that, I usually just rent a game from GameFly, play it for a little while, send it back, rent another game, play it for a little while, and so on. I really wish this service had been around before I dropped $50 clams on "Enter The Matrix" which has a fun habit of crashing whenever I get halfway through a level. Anyway, we (and you know who you are) really need to get the Soul Calibur tourneys going again. Hey, if you losers want a shot at my SC world championship belt, all you have to do is ask....

Monday, May 16, 2005

Start your day with real Jedi action!!!

So today I bought my 5th box of Frosted Flakes in the last 3 weeks trying to get all three Lightsaber spoons - and for the 5th time, I got the red one. Now, if I'm not too much mistaken, when there are 3 spoons available, that means I have a 66.6% chance of getting a green or a blue one. This assumes however, that an equal number of red, green and blue lightsaber spoons were put out into these specially marked packages of Frosted Flakes to begin with. I do not believe this to be the case. I think these people (and I use the term loosely) are deliberately putting more red ones in these cereal boxes than green and blue ones, just to take advantage of lightsaber nerds such as myself, who simply must complete their collection. That's just evil. Full on, total-dark-lord-of-the-Sith-like evil. None of these jerks have the meticlorians to admit it publicly - but I know when my chain is getting pulled. I will have the last laugh though - I now have enough red ones to sell some on eBay 10 years from now to other lightsaber nerds and turn quite a profit. HA HA HA HA HA!!! Take that Kellogg's!!!

Sunday, May 15, 2005

The end of an era

Not only will this week see the end of Star Wars, it has also seen the end of another one of my geeky passions, Star Trek. I first starting watching Trek in 1991 - I remember just catching one of the Next Gen eps on a re-run - it was "Yesterday's Enterprise" - which is naturally just about the worst episode that someone who's never seen Star Trek could come in on, since it takes place in one of those famous parallel universes that has nothing to do with the "real" universe that TNG was set in. But it was a great ep and it captured my imagination like nothing I had ever seen. Star Wars was about action and adventure with little doses of humanism thrown in. Trek on the other hand....Trek was hundreds of hours of "this is how I should live my life". Act with honor but be true to yourself. Be loyal to your friends and treat people with respect. Accept others for who they are and be tolerant of people who are different than you.

Due to the Relay, I had to have Mom tape the final few episode of Enterprise for me. I admit I got slightly misty-eyed at the end, when they did the famous voice over "These are the voyages..." line. It got me thinking....why is this ending? According to the TPTB's (The Powers That Be) Enterprise's ratings were in the toilet. Supposedly, it started out with 13 million views for the first episode, and ended with 2 million. But you know...something about that just doesn't jive with me. I am a Trek fan. I have been to conventions. I have met other Trek fans - and the one thing I can say about every Trek fan that I've ever met is that we are loyal to the show. We sat through the worst the series had to offer - the clunker episodes of Next Gen (Angel One, Nightmares come to mind), Captain Proton, the ex-Borg who just happened to be a hot blonde in a cat suit, and the occasional continuity lapse made by the writers (notice that I do not have one negative thing to say about DS9 :). And yet we still watched - we did so because the idea of Star Trek is bigger than one show or one series. Yet somewhere along the line with Enterprise, we're told, the fans just left the show. But I'm not buying the lone gunman theory here. We know for a fact that Neilson ratings do not include TiVO stats - of the millions of subscribers to TiVo - quite a newfangled technology - wouldn't these be just the people who like Star Trek? The real question is in my mind is this: why did Paramount want to kill off Star Trek?

I believe it started with UPN. That network has been around for 10 years now - and I still don't have it. I've only had it at one place that I've lived. Whatever their deal is, it's just a fact that a lot of people simply can't tune into that network. Some cable providers don't carry it. If it's not a local station your dish won't get it. What does that leave you with? Antenna strung up on the roof? Voyager, as well as Enterprise, should have been syndicated. And then there was the movie ST: Nemesis - to put a Star Trek movie out 1 week before Lord of the Rings was suicidal. Lots of people can't afford to go to the movies every week. Some people have to pick one and wait for the other to come out on DVD. In fact, Nemesis had the highest rental and sales rate of any Stat Trek movie in history. Then finally, with Enterprise, as the show finally hit its stride in the 4th season - they move it to Friday nights at 8PM - the certain-death time slot for genre television.

I guess I won't ramble on about this anymore. Suffice it to say, I'm honked off that it's over. I can take some comfort in the fact that unlike Star Wars, I know Trek will be back. Though it may take a while, and who knows what it will come back as - there are simply too many of us Trek nerds out there who love the positive vision of the future that Gene Roddenberry laid out for the world. And so for now I say to you all....live long and prosper.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Relay For Life

Last night Allison and I attended the American Cancer Society Relay For Life that was held at Bluffton High School. A good time was had by all, and I was even able to find the luminary bag that I had left for my Grandmother, who passed away from a battle with cancer in 2001, amongst the thousands of bags honoring loved ones who had fought the disease. Thanks to Robyn (who was the co-chair of the event) for inspiring me to get involved. It feels good to do something, even if it's not much, to help try to defeat this illness that claims the lives of so many people.

Friday, May 13, 2005

Temptation waits

Earlier this year, because of Allison's nice little education credit tax refund (thanks hon!) as well as my bonus for winning the Island Packet's Employee of the Year award, I was able to pay off most of my credit card debt. Given my unnatural love for gadgets and gizmos, I had amassed a wee-bit o' debt in the last few years. It felt great to be able to wipe it away in one shot (although giving them that much money at once made it very difficult to hit the "send" button). Anyway, for the last few months I've been enjoying not sending those folks their monthly payment. However, it seems as though they miss me a great deal - today I logged into to my accounts just to see that big flashing ZERO BALANCE that I love so much, but was instead greeted with NEW TOTAL CREDIT AVAILABLE. Clicking on the link showed that they had upped my limit by $1500!! Guess they want me to start using their card again eh? In one brief moment, this was now within my grasp, not to mention one (or both) of these (yes, I know - but I'd run Linux on it).

But something strange has happened to me recently - I seem to have no real desire to spend money. I mean, it's a Star Wars year, so there's the requisite lightsaber and action figure purchases, but I'm talking big-ticket items here. What I'd really like to do is attempt to be disciplined enough to save up that money I had been paying to creditors monthly and pay off my car when it's lease is up in September of 2007. This of course, is quite a ways away, and there will be all kinds of new stuff that I simply must have in the meantime. But I think I can do it. Should the unthinkable happen and I'm still updating this blog 2 1/2 years from now, I'll have to remember to post on the day I pay off my car.

Oh, and memo to Visa - go to hell. You have gotten enough of my money already you greedy jerks.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

A tale told by an idiot

I think it's time for my first public commentary on an important issue of the day. So what will this commentary be about? The battle over judicial nominees? The Bolton nomination? The war in Iraq? Nope - this. Bill Gates says that the iPod will not sustain itself. That Apple has lost market position before. Well, that's true Bill. It's true because you stole the idea of a GUI from Apple, licensed it for pennies thereby undercutting everyone else, and have since managed to screw it up royally.

In this humble IT droid's opinion....the iPod will see competition from cell phones, but not in the foreseeable future. In order for there to be competition, someone needs to be putting hard drives in their cell phones. And I'm not talking about 1GB hard drives - I'm talking about 20GB hard drives. There is a reason Apple sells more 20GB iPods than any other size - that's the sweet spot for most people's music collection. This is why we are constantly hearing about the iTunes phone from Motorola. The music and cell phone concept is in it's infancy - but Apple is right in the middle of it. They will be fine - it's Micro$oft, on the other hand, that will be shut out. Their crap simply doesn't work. It never does. They threw their hat in with the subscription music download services, for some reason thinking that people would rather rent their music rather than own it. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Well, I guess that's the first of my many-more-to-come anti-Micro$oft ramblings. For all you poor souls viewing this blog on a Pee-Cee....do yourself a favor - go here and buy a Mac would ya? You'll thank me later....

Oh, and don't worry right-wingers - my take on those judicial nominees will come.....just waiting for the Senate Repubs to use the nuclear option. Once they do, believe me - I'll have lots to say :)

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Next time I'll have the fish tacos

Allison and Robyn ate together at Amigos today. I mention this because it's a perfect segue to the tale that must finally be told....Christmas Eve 2002 - one of the worst nights of my life.

It started out like any other day...a beautiful day in the South Carolina Lowcountry. Temps in the high 50's - moments spent fondly reminiscing about how fun Christmas was back home when it was actually cold, even though everyone knows darn well we'd have killed for high 50s then. Matt and I were asked by the boss to go to Amigos for lunch, as my predecessor Bryan Webb was in town with his then-finance, and we agreed. The meal was pleasant - Chris, Bryan, Matt and I all had some form of Chicken. Bryan's finance did not. Stay with me, gentle reader - this tidbit of information will play a vital role later. We all went back to work, then went home at the end of the day, all ready to celebrate our Christmas holiday. Unbeknownst to us, this would very nearly be the last night of our lives.

I remember the first sign of unpleasantness coming in the 8 o'clock hour. We were at the mom-in-law's house, and I remember spending some time in the bathroom before telling Allison that I really needed to go home. After a semi-uneventful car ride home, I proceeded to spend the next 7 hours on the floor of my bathroom. Without getting into the gruesome details, let's just say that my body was keeping me very, very busy during that entire time. I remember spending Xmas morning in bed, and having to suffer through listening to everyone else enjoy some of Allison's world famous overnight French Toast out in the living room. I still felt like crap the next day, so I called and left a message for Chris that I wouldn't be in that day. Sadly, he didn't get the message - because he had spent his Christmas Eve at the hospital! Came to find out that Matt also had quite a horrible night (the joke around the office was that the computer guys were attacked by a virus....HA HA), as did Bryan Webb. His finance, on the other hand, slept like a baby and presumably enjoyed her Christmas holiday far more than we did! It didn't take long to piece together the clues to identify villain in this drama - we got us some bad chicken. To this day, I've never gone back to Amigos. I know I shouldn't hold a grudge...but this place nearly killed me for cryin' out loud!!

The Amigo's apologists tell a different story. They claim it was some bad pizza that we had the day before, or some random stomach flu strain that had become airborne. I dismiss these inane ramblings as nothing more than not wanting to give up on a place that admittedly does have a really good chicken quesadilla.

In any case....should Allison and Robyn both end up on the floor of their respective bathrooms tonight, they can't come crying to me about it. I tried to warn them....I tried to warn you all....

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

My arms hurt

As some of you may know, I have recently joined a gym. I have done this because of my desire to never again return to my "Popeye's weight" of 2002, when I ballooned to 180 lbs. As you may have guessed, this was a direct result of my eating at that fine establishment 5 times a week. Anyway, after going on a diet and getting back to playing tennis and basketball last year, I managed to return to my normal weight of 160 lbs. However, I found that I wasn't staying as active as I needed to be, and was slowly returning to my sloth-like ways. Enter Allison, who decided that she wanted to join a gym. After much deliberation, as well as persuasion by both Allison and Robyn, I signed my life away. My plan was to mainly focus on cardio workouts, but sure enough when I got there, I immediately gave into my selfish desires to look like one of those dudes that sells fitness equipment on television. You know, the guy who lives at the gym and gets all the chicks...so why is it that after 2 weeks of intense pain and suffering on these machines....I still look the same? I think I need some steroids or something. Well, either that or some new DNA. In any case, I will continue to pump iron like a man possessed until I look ripped....or rip a muscle....whichever comes first.

Monday, May 09, 2005

The nerd will be with you....always

So my Lightsaber came today. I was highly excited - until I took it out of the box and put batteries in it, only to realize that when I did so, it turned on but wouldn't turn off without the removal of said batteries. Am currently contemplating sending it back for repair, although the thought of that makes me ill. I simply must have it to take with me to the midnight show on the 19th! Actually, I'm kidding about that. No way would I ever in a million years take such a valuable possession with me to Savannah, GA at midnight. It's bad enough I'll be taking my car. Anyway...for the brief few moments that it was working properly, I was in SW nerd heaven. While it isn't quite capable of being taken into a rough cantina and used to slice off the arm of some dude who is a wanted man in 12 systems, it's still as close as our current level of technology can get us to the real thing. Assuming it can be repaired....I then must prepare myself for the ultimate trial that a Jedi can ever face - convincing the wife to let me display it in the living room....

Sunday, May 08, 2005

I'm sailing away


IMG_0640
Originally uploaded by morganbonner.
Fulfilling a life-long dream, today I was in the position of having to drive this. Now, as you may know, I'm more of a 'if man were meant to fly he'd have wings' kinda guy - the same theory applies to boats. They just really aren't my thing. However, as a Mother's day present, Allison and I took Mom out on the Schooner "Welcome". Amazingly enough, I not only didn't get knocked overboard and drown, but I would even go so far as to say I had a small amount of fun. Don't tell anyone though....I do have a reputation to maintain.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Something I've been meaning to do....

Well....here it is. My blog. I have been meaning to do this for quite a while, prolly ever since the first time I saw my boss's website as well as Dearth's. Of course, both of these dudes are proficient in the ways of HTML, which has always remained a mystery to me, so I never gave it much more thought. Then today, for some reason (prolly cuz I'm really, really bored) I happened upon Blogger. Some might say that with my technical background, I should be able to host a blog myself. However, these people severely underestimate my near-legendary amount of laziness.

And so here I am. Who am I? Well, if you're reading this, you already know who I am, because I've e-mailed you and asked you to humor me and check out this blog. However, for the benefit of those who might one day Google me....I am Morgan Bonner, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo. Forgive me....got Star Wars on the brain these days...can't imagine why....anyway, I am 27 years of age, work at The Island Packet as the Macintosh Systems Administrator, although that's really just what I tell the Dell and Micro$oft sales people....in reality, if it breaks and has electronics in it, myself and Matt are required to fix it! I am son and husband to Pat and Allison respectively, as well as father to the furry and sometimes-annoying Mac and Ady. I am a self-described nerd with an unhealthy lightsaber fetish. I am a fan of all the sports teams from Denver (and yes, I've been there - once). I have more Star Trek action figures than you (and no, as Robyn once asked, I don't take them out of the package and play make-believe with them :0). I once ate at least one meal at Popeye's for 8 days straight. And honestly....that's really all you need to know about me.

If what I've noticed by observing the blogs of other Packeteers is any indication, I'll be updating this blog a few times a month. Hey, we're all pretty busy dudes, making sure 30,000 people get their news and information about southern Beaufort county each day and all. Or, at the very least, the answers to yesterday's crossword.